There is a huge stack of sticks on our porch right now. It looks like one of our boys is trying to start a bonfire, but really, it's Calvin's arsenal for a bonfire. But not to burn, mind you. No, these sticks are to beat up a girl.
Calvin's "second-best friend" (I asked. Reed is his best -- heart melting!) invited him to a bonfire party. A little girl in their class said she was coming to the little boys' party "just to beat him up." Calvin was NOT going to stand for that. So, he found a stick on the playground (or somewhere) after school and stashed it by the front door of the school to take home so he'd have a weapon to protect his friend. Then when we got home, he also hauled out his alarmingly huge stick weapon collection from its hiding spot outside. They were waiting on the porch for him to load up and take to the party. At first, I thought his protectiveness was cute and funny. But he was getting pretty serious about this brawl and kept talking about it, so we had to kill his buzz and inform him of the fact that no sticks would be accompanying us to the bonfire and, bully or no bully, he would not be hitting any little girls with sticks. "I'm not gonna hit her! I'm just gonna scare her!" he insisted. I can see that. I'm a little scared when I check out the arsenal! When it was time to leave, he begged to take "just one" of his weapons. Then, when I delayed our departure a few minutes, he was adamant that we had to go. The bully could already be there!
Reed stayed home, due to ralphing all over the bed, two pillows, and 12 blankets (I counted) the night before. Max came along, excited about going to the "fire bomb." Calvin corrected him in his best "you idiot!" voice. "It's not a fire bomb, Max!... It's a bomb fire."
When we arrived at the bomb fire, I turned around to unbuckle Max. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Calvin trying to hide something in his pants. It was a wooden splinter the size of a dagger. Look out, Ladies. Nobody messes with this guy's second-best friend!