Dear Mom and Dad,
I think we need to talk. Yes, I've been a little cantankerous lately, I'll admit. But we wouldn't have this problem if you would just remember to NOT do the following:
- Tell me no
- Sit anywhere that I have ever sat before or have thought about sitting.
- Do anything that isn't my idea. If it's candy, I want it, but don't ask me if I want it. I'll be forced to shout "No!" and then change my mind 8 milliseconds later.
- Call me a big boy. I'm a baby.
- Call me a baby. I'm a big boy.
- Be anywhere within hitting or toy-throwing range when I'm not getting my way
- Sing along with the radio on a daddy part if you're a mommy (or vice versa)
- Tell me, ask me, or act like you would like me to anything at any time. Ever.
I'm glad we cleared that up.