- Hire some child laborers to pick up the bounty (they’ll work for freezie pops)
- Eat apple slices with every meal and for every snack
- Make Calvin’s favorite, “Apple Chris,” four times in two weeks
- Fry ‘em in a skillet with butter with cinnamon and brown sugar. Call it a side dish so you can still have apple chris for dessert.
- Cut apples into your massive vat of salsa.
- Artfully arrange apples in pretty bowls and colanders.
- Thank God for his bountiful blessing.
- Hide five-gallon buckets in the pantry.
- Start every conversation with, “Could you use some apples? Please!?”
- Have a party at your house, then barricade the driveway until all the guests have taken a bag.
- Flag down your neighbor when he’s going to check on his cows. Insist he take the 5 gallon bucket you and the child laborers are in the process of filling. Score a trade of fresh ground beef!
- Teach a Sunday school lesson about the fruits of the Spirit. Serve apple slices and dip during the lag time while the preacher drags out the alter call. Send Galatians 5:22-23 home attached to an apple – or two – or Would you like to take a bag for your family? Please!?
- Pray that God save some of the bounty for later.
- Go on apple-picking strike for a day – or two, secretly hoping that more apples will go in the “goats and bunnies” bucket than in the “anywhere you can find room in my kitchen” bucket.
- Get pickier about quality, sending more to the goats and bunnies
- Turn a blind eye when the youngest laborer accidentally puts a good apple in the “yucky” bucket.
- Turn a blind eye when the child laborers have apple fights.
- Assist child laborers when they concoct a sling-shot/apple/goat pasture scheme.
- Peek out the kitchen window, cheering at ducks and squirrels pecking and nibbling, and cursing silently at new falling objects.
- Curl up in a ball and cry.
Stay tuned for “What to do if You Have Squash Coming Out of Your Ears.”
1 comment:
You forgot: Load up your van and bring Mimi and Papa a couple bags of apples for Kansas "Chris" : )
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