Camp Allen

I guess it's official. Reed is no longer a little kid. He's big enough to go to summer camp. Overnight. For a week. With no parental contact. At all.



And he did great. Mama even did fine. Until it was time to pick him up. When we parked, we saw a little blonde head rushing out of the church van. He ran to us, crying. I felt horrible for not calling or sending a package or visiting or picking him up and taking him home so he didn't have to suffer a week of misery at that terrible place!

After hugs all around, though, I asked him if he was ok and he said, "Yeah! It was awesome!" Turns out he wasn't miserable at all.  He just got homesick the day he knew he was coming home. In fact, when he started telling us every.single.detail. about his experience, it sounds like it may have been the best week of his life! It was the quietest week of ours, but it sure was good to have him back!

Problem Solvers

I needed to kill some time with the two littles munchkins tonight. We chose the city park. I told the boys I'd play with them (translation: lift up to the "zip line," push on the merry-go-round, and otherwise satisfy their whims) for a little, but then I was going to the picnic tables to grade papers. When that time came, Calvin honed in on a giant boulder and started climbing. Max joined in on the fun, but soon was hollering that he needed a "boost-ie." I ignored him, feeling slightly guilty, but rationalizing it by thinking that I was fostering independence. Well, what do you know? I was right!

Within a few minutes, the boys had run across the park, found a "step stool" (a chunk of bark off of a log), and drug it over to the boulder. Soon, I heard, "Mom! I got up!" Sure enough, Little Bit was sharing the role of king of the mountain with his big brother.

Providing assistance for my kiddos may not get me off my butt, but cute photo opps usually will. I crossed to the boulder and got to capture their process. Melt my heart!

H2C: Delegate - or distract

Here's another tip for "How to Cook When it's Already Time to Eat!"

I won't lie - making supper seemed impossible when the boys were littler. They were less patient, so it had to be ready sooner, and there were constant interruptions: first diaper changes, dropped binkies, and nursing sessions and then temper tantrums and "final wipes." Now that no one is suction cupped to my leg (or boob), its a whole lot easier - not that I don't have my share of distractions, now in the form of out-of-hand fights. But now, the boys are pretty easy to distract. A few ideas:

- I let them sit down with a tiny snack when they get home. They're content and contained and I can get supper started uninterrupted. I've trained them to take care of their own snacks. We have snack-sized bowls (though they try to sneak larger containers all the time) and food within easy reach.
- If it's nice outside and they're old enough, shoo fly! We're fortunate to live in the country on a nearly traffic-free road. I can see the porch and most of the yard, including the trampoline from my kitchen windows. And Reed and Calvin are pretty good about keeping an eye on Squiggie.
- During the winter and on rainy days, the boys fly through their snack to get to their highly-awaited daily allotment of screen time. Their current obsession is Wii Mario. They scream like banshees and you'd think the couch was a butt trampoline, but remember our goal is contained and content, so it's all good.
- If Reed has homework, he's supposed to do it first thing. This isn't very often, but I figure that will change as they get older.

Distraction isn't my only trick. It's well documented on this site that I want our boys to be independent. My goal is for my future daughter-in-laws to thank me for raising such helpful, neat-freak husbands. Not sure if we'll get all they way there, but I'd settle for helpful. So, I put those turkeys to work. For several months now, they've started "kitchen duty" after the meal. They take care of almost all the clean up but the dishes and leftover storage. It frees me up to do a little cooking ahead for the next nights. Here are kitchen-related things the boys do at least some of the time:

- Set table and get out condiments.
- Pour their own milk if the jug isn't too full. 
- Dish up plates.
- Clear table.
- Wipe table and counters.
- Help me with dishes.
- Sweep and mop (the mopping is usually mostly fake - Max always wants to sweep and he sucks at it, so we give him the mop instead. Strips of my floor are super spotless. The rest? Not so much.) 
- Help cook the meal (This one isn't always very "helpful" so much as "a pain in my butt," but I'm banking on all the spilled flour paying off some day... )

I have a friend who started scheduling her middle school son to cook one night a week. She taught him some basic meals first and by the time he graduated, he had quite a repertoire for a bachelor living on his own. I am SO employing this idea! In a few years, that'll be THREE nights a week I won't have to cook! And, future daughters-in-law, you. are. welcome! Is eight too young to start this?

The other "boy" in my house pitches in, too. In fact, he's a way better cook than I am. He goes in spurts--cooking several nights in a row when we have fresh deer tenderloins. He grills about one night a week in the summer. And this winter, he's invented several awesome soups! He's really creative, and kind of enjoys it, but I don't think I'll ever get him to take over the duty every night. Schedules and the desire to keep our marriage intact don't allow that. I did get him to agree to being "penciled in" as chef one night a week.  It doesn't always work out that way, but it's still nice to have someone to share the load. 

Hmmm, if I play this right, I could get off pretty easy. Here's my "There's hope for the future" plan:

M - Reed's night
T - Calvin's night
W - Max's night
Th - Ryan's night
F - leftover night
Sa - eat out (or adopt another teenager with stellar cooking skills)
Su - It's the Sabbath. I can't cook. We'll figure out something...


For 7 more tips, follow the links at How to Cook When it's Already Time to Eat.

When the Cats Are Away...

I was just thinking the other day how great it is that I can now leave the boys in the house alone for a little while to help Ryan outside. We've had to make a few trips into the pasture this winter to load and unload hay or get firewood and every time the boys have quietly played (or napped) inside, hardly noticing we were gone.

Today? Not so much.

I was walking back to the house when I heard outside voices. Calvin and Max were banging away at their favorite root ball with their favorite stick weapons. When I asked who gave them permission to come outside, Calvin informed me that he just came out to get Max inside. Apparently. Then, he began to tattle on Max for his other transgression: breaking Daddy's hunting light. Then, it slowly came out that Calvin maaaaay have "been a part of it" because he was pulling on the cord to get it away from Max. While hashing out the details, big brother pushed open a window to holler out what he'd been up to.

A few months ago my mom passed us down a cool, divided hamper. Now, may it R.I.P. cuz it totally did when Reed decided it would make a great hide-and-seek spot. He'd been using his engineering skills to put the PVC-type construction back together. He'd done pretty decent job, though two of the wheels were on top. But the cloth lining was torn beyond repair and one of the rods was bent, so the offender now has to use his hard-earned allowance money to pay for a replacement. His little brother coughed up $1 "and two of those circle moneys that aren't a dollar, but four of them make a dollar" so Reed wouldn't have to use all of his money. How can I want to kill them and kiss them at the same time!

This chain of events follows a supremely frustrating church excursion wherein Max had a screaming time-out in the bathroom alcove and Calvin earned five post-church spankings.

I just got a text. We have another snow day tomorrow. I may be R.I.P.ing before the day's over.

Back Among the Living

We ventured back out into public today.  And, boy, could you tell the boys had been cooped up for a week! Here are the highlights from our excursion to the "big city" to hang out with my sister and her hubs (and, against our better judgement, to eat out at a restaurant):

- I was proud of myself for busting Calvin's brown shirt/brown pants not-quite-matching combo (he's taken to putting his coat on pre-breakfast, resulting in some interesting revelations at school lately).
- I realized too late that I hadn't busted him for leaving his jammie pants on under his pants.
- When I expressed dismay that he'd been wearing his jammies for, like, 24 hrs straight (recall that we Laytons only dress when absolutely necessary), he corrected me by informing me that he's been wearing them, "For, like, four days."
- We jumped out of the car straight into the snow for a quick romp to get good and wet before we entered the carpeted house.
- Three little jumping beans greeted their aunt, uncle, and hyperactive puppy and didn't stop bouncing for a good hour, despite constant barking from parents, aunt, and puppy.
- Three little voices TALKED LIKE THIS THE ENTIRE TIME WE ATE AT THE RESTAURANT.
- After practice and a pep talk Reed and Calvin placed their own semi-complicated orders like champs, causing Aunt Tavia to cry. She's totally turning into our mother. (I've been there for ten years...)
- Max lightened the mood when he placed his order. Instead of ordering a meal, he communicated his desire for chocolate milk instead of white. This lead the waiter to mention chocolate pancakes, which took his mind completely off of the previously decided-upon Lil' Farmer's Breakfast. When I whispered a reminder of his order to him, he began arguing with me. He calmed down when we settled on pancakes and sausage and made his order like a big boy, looking the waiter in the eyes and speaking clearly. Until the man asked for clarification on what kind of sausage. Then he just took a big lick of milk that had spilled on the menu.
- Calvin engaged his twisty straw in an exciting knife fight, complete with sound effects.
- While stopped at a traffic light, Calvin shot who-knows-how-many motorists with his 6-shooter before we realized what he was doing.
- We had a great time with my sister and brother-in-law back at their house -- after we busted out the iphones and Legos.

Gourmet

During yet ANOTHER week off (totally not complaining, but between snow and Christmas, I've worked only 4 1/2 days in the last five weeks!), I finally got down to business and made a menu and cooked real food for supper every night. It's rough to spend every day lying around in your pajamas, having Pinterest parties with yourself, playing Kinect with your fam, and then muster up enough energy to cook a healthy dinner. But I rallied, and we had some good grub this week. Until tonight. Ryan was at a hunt for the evening, so it was just the boys and I. Usually on nights like this, we make brinner, since Daddy's not a big fan of breakfast food. But I had also taken to making real breakfast the last three days. This may have been a subconscious penance for what occurred earlier in the week--an occurrence that I am 99.9% sure hasn't happened since Reed was born.

I slept past 10:00 on two occasions! Once it was closer to 11 than 10! I blame it on our boys being so self-sufficient. I recently rearranged the living room a bit and now the DVD player is low enough that Reed can operate it. Since they get a morning movie on the weekends and snow days = weekends in my book, the boys have been occupied for at least two hours after they wake up. They also get one video game turn, and their habit is to hit the Wii right after their morning movie credits roll. They set the timer for their turn and everything. The two talls don't always need help with breakfast, but if they do, it's always at least 2 1/2 hours after they wake up. Max usually wants a "snack" during the movie. We did have bagels and yogurt on hand, but a couple of mornings he brought me crackers and a bowl, and I thought, "What the heck?" and filled 'er up. But it only took a couple of days losing my most productive hours and waking up just about in time to make lunch to make me kick myself in the butt and set an alarm for the next day. The boys had used up all the oatmeal and were getting tired of their other breakfast go-to's, so I made our three fav breakfasts the next three days.

So, tonight, I invented snupper: snack-supper. Tonight's fare included apple and pear slices, cheese, cottage cheese, and the piece de' resistance: season-yo-own popcorn. I made a huge pot of popcorn on the stove and served it in "grown-up bowls" for the boys to flavor themselves with three new seasonings I bought (part of Ryan's and my plan to eat healthier snacks in the evening). You woulda thought I had Chuck E. Cheese come cater a party at our house! The boys wooped and hollered, complimented the food, ate like champs, and thanked me for "cooking so much good food!" Ha!  They literally licked their bowls clean. If I woulda known they were this easy to please, I would've skipped brinner and encouraged Ryan to go to a few more hunts!

I just read over this post and realized how LAZY I am I must sound! If I'm honest, I'm slightly dreading going back to the crazy life on Monday. A lot of friends are saying their kids are driving them nuts, but I just sleep through my kids' day our kids have been pretty great this month. I think a return to work is for the best, though. If we maintain the status quo, my kids will soon be malnourished and I'll be 300 pounds!

Oops.

The downside to teaching your kids to be independent? Sometimes, when you're not paying attention, your two-year-old fills a cup with water in the bathroom and throws it on you, the computer, and the couch in a gleeful attempt to start a water fight...

Independence

To say I'm independent would be an understatement. My mom says I could have lived alone at the age of two if someone would've brought me groceries, or rigged up a car I could physically drive. So maybe that's why I tend to value independence in my own children a little more than your average bear. Several times, people have offered to clear my kids' dishes when the counter is a little high or the trash can hard to find and I'm not helping. I'm sure people at the school where I work think it's harsh that I won't take Reed his coat if he leaves it in my classroom after the bell rings. What would he do if he left it at home? Freeze? Well, then that's what he'll do! I've always firmly believed that you should never do for a child what they can do for themselves. And when the kids were young, that was a LOT of extra work. Eighteen month olds can't often clear their dishes without dropping and dribbling. And ohmygoodness! It takes F-O-R-E-E-E-E-E-V-E-R for toddlers to dress themselves.

But now that my kids are older, I'm learning that this independence thing is actually pretty genius, because I do very little for my kids anymore! Give a child breakfast and he'll eat for a day, but teach a child to use the toaster and you can be a lazy butt and sleep in!

Our big kids get up, get dressed, brush teeth, and fix as much of their breakfast as they can before they ask for help. The biggun can pour milk if it's getting low. They clear their dishes and do "electricity patrol" before we leave the house. They carry our their own "supplies" for wherever we're going and buckle their own seat belts. They pick up all their own toys before going to bed. They have chores (emptying majority of the dishwasher, putting all clean shirts on hangers, emptying bathroom trash) and get an allowance for them, but they also know that they will be expected to do other things when we ask. We rarely spend our money on them when we're shopping. If they want something, it comes out of their allowance.

Without my asking that often, they've also sort of taken responsibility for Max. They'll juice up his toothbrush for him, help him find his shoes, zip up his coat, and open the fridge so he can put up his cup. He, also, has started doing things own his own simply because big brothers are doing them. He loves to jump in and help empty the dishwasher. We're still working on the toy thing, though...

See what I mean? Being "mean" and making your kids struggle to do things that are difficult at first actually saves a lot of effort in the long run. And I don't think our kids really suffer for it. They seem to take all their duties in stride. Sure, we get our fair share of whining, but a lot of times, they just do it, because they know they're not going to get out of it.

There is a downside, though. When you let your five-year-old dress himself, these are the types of outfits you wind up with:

- black dress socks with brown sandals on a hike
- Mom's black knee highs bunched around ankles with tennies
- John Deere boots with shorts to church
- navy blue shirt, black shorts, and mismatched socks

- and many more