Friday, May 4, 2012


Today, Calvin violated the zero-tolerance-for-pushing-on-the-trampoline policy. Oddly, I think I've only seen him push twice on the trampoline. The first was when he and Reed were fighting over something, which inspired me to draft the policy and deliver it in the sternest way possible. The second was within 30 seconds of the policy's passage. That boy just lives to push the limits.  I enacted swift justice. He begged to be let back on. When he realized I wasn't giving in, he said, "Fine! Then you can't jump on my trampoline that I'm gonna make that's gonna be cooler than yours!" I was in a snarky mood, so I said, "Darn. Well.... Good luck with that," rolled my eyes, and laughed with big brother. Not my most mature parenting moment, but sue me. I think the mockery inspired him, because he gave a silly giggle, then got to work constructing the way-better hops. Several carefully-selected sticks later, he was ready to jump. He sprinkled a little grass on the stick circle he'd driven into the ground (I think the grass was for his way-cool jumping surface, but I'm not sure) and took a "Hiiiiya!" leap, immediately cracking all his sticks. He thought it was pretty hilarious and went off to recreate the tramp with a fresh batch of sticks. A better mother would have stopped him because, after all, it's all fun and games until someone gets a stick shoved into their tenders, but I chose to err on the side of keeping him happy. And developing his creativity. That is definitely one of his gifts. Among things he's created:

- PBJ with apple slices 
- strawberries on toast with honey
- banana dipped in peanut butter, mixed with jelly, syrup, and honey (another result of lazy parenting, "Yes, you can have a snack, but only if you make it yourself.")

- Tight monkey pajama pants, no shirt, John Deere boots
- Silky Halloween pirate costume shirt (inside out and backwards), black athletic shorts, black socks
- Optimus Prime Halloween costume under regular clothes (in case anyone needed rescuing while he was at day care)
- Max's "I leaked my diaper" jeans as "I peed the cot" replacement pants - skinny capris on Cal
- Mud boots and undies for working in the garden
- Pants on arms, undies on head, shirt on legs, "bidness" on display (yet another bed-time stalling tactic)

- "I didn't say it. Chocolatey did." (Chocolatey is his stuffed dog)
- "But I'm a dinosaur and dinosaurs don't listen."
- "I heard what you said, but you talked too much and you made me forget!"

Games and toys:
- Roller coaster: tie large baskets/boxes together with jump ropes, tie pogo-ball or baby brother's scooter to front and attempt to pull brothers around house
- Grape-stem dragons (we actually had to save stems for future play sessions, the boys were so attached to them!)

That boy's gonna be famous some day. Just hope it's for some really cool innovative something and not for committing the perfect crime. Or being that kid who suffered that freak stick injury. Or putting his mom in the insane asylum.


Deborah Raney said...

Dad and I read this aloud this morning and laughed so hard we had tears rolling down our cheeks! You are SUCH a good writer!!

Tavia Raney (soon to be Smith) said...

Collin and I LOVED this one too.

I just love that kid, I am with Jenica that I would love to have a kid like him some day!