Monday, November 26, 2012

Terrible Twos Diagnosis

If your 21-month-old does the following:

- Shouts "No!" in response to a question, even when the tantrum that follows indicates that he clearly meant, "Yes."
- Whine, "Nooo," as an answer to a question, then repeat the question as a whiny command.
- Grabs your cheeks, turns your head to face his and says emphatically, "Hear me?!"
- Names all objects with possessive pronouns in front. (Mine trah-ter! My cup!)
- Insists that no one hold his baby cousin unless they also hold him--simultaneously
- Insists that his baby cousin (or any other human being) not play with toys unless they do it out of his line of vision - and earshot - and without his knowledge.
- Points in a way that can only mean, "Take me there right this instant!"
- Performs a tap-dance tantrum when he wants, "Up!"
- Says, "No! Mommy turn!" when you hand him his toothbrush, which should mean that he wants Mommy to brush his teeth, but indicate otherwise by holding his toothbrush in a vice grip and refusing to brush his own teeth. (possible translation: Mommy's turn to back off!" ?)
- Has radar for any food that you're trying to sneak-eat. Interrupts your moment of guilty pleasure with an insistent, "I try it? I try it? I try it!"
- Zeros in on one food item at each meal, usually the least healthy option.
- Refuses to eat even one bite of any dessert prerequisite, guarunteeing a tantrum when the rest of the family eats their dessert.
- Communicates in screams, even when he has a pretty decent command of the English language
- Dances for a second, then runs away when he gets busted tearing off individual squares of "twoy peeper" and flushing them down the "poh-ee" one at a time

...then he might be entering the terrible twos a few months early!

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